I want to share with you something that I’ve been repairing in my own life of late – I’ve become devoted to getting very honest with myself and those around me. It’s changing my world in profound and magical ways!
I know how scary it can feel to step outside of your comfort zone and strengthen a boundary or share how you really feel – it’s challenging to tell the truth because at a core level we *people please* to protect ourselves (and others) from rejection. And yet, every time we withhold our truth, even loving truth – we reject a part of ourselves and block growth for every body concerned.
We often suppress the voice of our Spirit on a day-to-day basis, and yet are unaware we do it. Over time, we accumulate funky energy in our heart and throat, muffling our capacity for honesty.
Here are a few ways you might be silencing your truth;
- Saying what the other person may want to hear or using flattery to impress
- Excessive talk to feel comfortable
- Carrying resentments that happened long ago
- Saying yes, instead of a heartfelt no
- Gossip, we all know how unhealthy this one is!
- Avoiding a person or confrontational situation in hope it’ll go away
- Using silent treatment, not returning calls or texts on purpose
- Saying you’ll take the “higher road” but stay stuck on lower path
- Agreeing with an opinion just to feel accepted
- Overwhelming fear of being ridiculed or upsetting others
- Always imagining types of reactions even when the reaction has not occurred yet.
- Withholding an encouraging or loving thought toward another
- Assuming you intuitively know what others are thinking
- Betrayal or deceit exists in your friendships or relationships
Infusing honesty into every situation invites depth and authenticity into your life, not to mention the intimacy you share with yourself. I’ve noticed within my Kinesiology sessions and own life that when you honour your Spirit’s voice, your vibration becomes boundaried, it carries the frequency of integrity that others unconsciously will respect (without the need to verbally communicate it!)
When you’re honest with yourself and others, truth will follow you where ever you go!
Where required, I’ve become radically devoted to telling the truth from a place of love rather than my ego. It’s not about being right, or offloading my emotions. It’s about allowing the expression of my Spirit to have it’s say, because the truth really does set you free.
Four tips to sharing your truth;
1. Open your heart to yourself before you share it with another. When you bring acceptance and compassion to yourself, the energy associated with your emotions moves through the body fast – that way you don’t stay trapped in hurt, blame, resentment and anger. If you launch into sharing how you feel without tending to your heart first, your truth will be emotionally charged and you are more likely to be unheard. How you feel is important and when pain is avoided, you’ll most likely be looking for validation and comfort from outside of yourself – setting you up for more pain. Come back to yourself by placing your hands over your heart, take a few deep breaths and state out loud – right here I feel? And fill in the blank, as you answer, allow yourself 10 seconds or more to feel into the sensation of the emotion with curiosity and compassion.
2. Is your truth coming from your ego or your heart? Often when truth is left unspoken between people, the ego will fill in the gaps with assumption and misperception – it’s the ego’s peak experience to feel righteous.Your ego will always speak loudest and drown out the wisdom that lies in your heart. Your spirit on the other hand is softy spoken, dignified, wise and peaceful. It doesnt need to be right, it doesn’t need to share every detail, but requires the truth to be told to set it free. After acknowledging how you feel, the next step is to diffuse the ego and take a moment to ask yourself a few questions;
- How have I contributed to this situation?
- Where have I denied fault?
- Am I refusing to grow?
- What am I learning?
- What is it within me that is triggered?
- Do I owe anyone a communication of love that has been withheld?
3. Other people will hear you from the level you speak from so if you come in with the intention to see the other from a place of love you will be received and seen in that same light. Vulnerability is where Soul connection becomes available and offering up your truth can feel like a threat to the nervous system but it is the source of hope, accountability, and authenticity.. I personally find prayer the most powerful way of allowing my truth to flow unhindered from my heart. Through prayer I ask, “Please let the truth flow from my heart up into my throat and out through my word, let it be true, let it be relevant and loving” I then place my hand over my heart as I communicate to strengthen the connection to my Spirit. Another way is to use these simple questions beforehand,
- “Is what I am about to say true?”
- If so, proceed to the second gateway and ask, “Is what I am about to say necessary?”
- If the answer is yes, go to the third gateway and ask yourself, “Is what I am about to say loving?”
Telling the truth without compassion becomes brutality – it serves no one.
4. People may not always like your truth and thats ok! Once you’ve told your truth, give the other person the opportunity to tell their own. Hold space for them and know they may need time to dip into what is true for them, let things unfold and keep supporting yourself. Even if they get upset or defensive you can rest assured that if you’re shared it from a place of love, you would have been heard. The outcome is offered up for clearing and healing but ultimately truth telling isn’t about convincing someone of your point of view or getting the results that you want (although this can greatly shift things) it’s about setting your truth free despite the outcome.
One last thing before you go…..
Your voice is beautiful and matters – it carries the unique imprint of your Spirit and deserves the freedom to be heard and I mean that with every fibre of my being.
All my love,